‘Sex is the lubricant in a relationship’

The importance of sex in a relationship cannot be over-emphasised. The point of being in a relationship is to make each other happy. Sex is fun, so I commend you for sharing your concern, and requesting for a solution. I will tell you to just relax and enjoy it. You do not need an excuse in order to engage or not engage in intercourse. The fact that it makes your spouse happy is all the reason that you need. I guess whoever came up with the slogan “Make love, not war” was certainly a smart person.

To understand its importance we need to ask and answer the question: Why do we have sex?

I can tell you that sexual motives go far beyond the ‘big three’ – love, pleasure, and making babies. There are more reasons why we have sex and it includes: Physical reasons -pleasure, stress relief, exercise, sexual curiosity, or attraction to a person. Goal-based reasons – to make a baby, improve social status (for example, to become popular), or seek revenge. It is also for emotional reasons – love, commitment, or gratitude. For insecurity reasons – to boost self-esteem, or keep a partner from seeking sex elsewhere, or feeling a sense of duty or pressure (for example, a partner insisting on having sex). Or for commercial reasons or what some called ashawo but now known as agbelepawo in Yoruba.

For this particular situation you shared here, we have to look at it from a male point of view, and that may be hard at times. While women need the romance, the passion, and the chemistry to get the assurance and re-assurance that the love is alive and well, just as they need to be loved and cherished, and this is often through verbal signs of affection; men on the other hand are very straightforward and almost primal in their needs. They need to have sex in a relationship because it shows strength, agility and unity.

So, I will say sex is a physical, emotional, relational and a spiritual need. Sex is very important in a relationship as lack of sex or inadequate sex can lead to a breakdown in a relationship. The demand on you as you put it can actually be that it is a healthy release of your husband’s affection to you. When you’re in love with someone, you can’t get enough of them. You want to show them how much they mean to you, which is hard to do. That’s why sex is a great way to release the emotions and show how much love one have.

Sex with you helps him get to know you better. When you have sex with someone, they are letting you see a side of them that not many people have seen. That means you are special. Having sex helps him learn what makes you as his partner happy, and will let him know you better than anyone else does.

Sex reduces pain. A headache is not a reason to refuse sex. In fact, that is the reason why you should have it. When our emotional and happy hormones join forces during sex, pain has no other option but to run away. So, the next time your partner says he has something to take the pain away, you better believe it is true. Yes, headache or that feigned pain is an excuse not to get some sex, but please, let us not be petty.

Another reason is that it improves sleep. Are you sure he is not having trouble getting a good night’s sleep? Well, all you need to do is have an exciting round of sex, and both of you will be snoozing in no time. Orgasming releases a chemical in your body that relaxes you, which means it will be super easy to fall asleep in your lover’s arms.

Sex helps people stay smart as it increases blood flow to the brain, which means that, both of you will be more alert. If you have a lot of work to do, especially you as a caterer, having sex beforehand could actually help you. It will make your brain sharper.

You yourself will benefit as it will help in your bladder control. Having sex works out your pelvic muscles. So if you’re guilty of having to run to the toilet every five minutes, having sex can be the cure you have been looking for. The more orgasms you have, the stronger your pelvic muscles will become.

Sex causes healthier skin. If you are unhappy with your complexion, sex could help. A hormone called DHEA is produced during intercourse, which helps with a variety of things, including your skin. So skip the dermatologist or toning creams and hop into bed.

As I mentioned earlier sex is an emotional process. Yes, it is a physical activity but most men and women agree that there is much more to it than just seeing stars and losing calories as a bonus. You see, there is a good reason why ‘having sex’ is often replaced with ‘being intimate with somebody’. Sex starts with romance and ends with romance because both genders feel the need to cuddle after it. Furthermore, healthy sex life is a confidence boost for both genders – it proves that partners are still very much interested in all aspects of their relationship.

Did you know, for example, that couples who have sex often, demonstrate more feelings? They feel the need to touch, kiss and hug more often and have fewer problems with demonstrating this loving- lovely behavior in public. You know why? It is because sex makes the body produce more oxytocin, a hormone that makes us feels the need to love and trust somebody.

The challenge we have in this part of the world is that we don’t talk about sex, freely. Women are embarrassed to talk about sex with their husbands so they are not seen as ‘whores’ or being unfaithful.

The truth of the matter is if you want to have a good relationship, sex must be discussed- i.e. what you want and how you want it. When sex is discussed in the home it gives room for intimacy, the moment a couple can discuss sex freely, they will be able to talk about anything and everything.  If the man is satisfied sexually it is unlikely that he will go out to seek extra marital affairs. Even though there are other things to be considered in this aspect.

To address the issue at hand, sex demand by your husband on you could be a stress relief for him. A real mood lifting activity for him. It will help him to forget all those problems; he will fall asleep like a baby and will have enough energy to face the next day feeling happy and rejuvenated.

Sex helps you too to live longer. Sex rejuvenates and heals wounds, makes him more flexible and less prone to various illnesses. It is a metabolism and immunity booster as it reduces the risk of stroke and fights the aging process too. It is a perfect anti-aging method no lab could ever produce, bottle or sell.

You need to also understand that your man’s sexual demand on you could be that it makes him want it more each time. The more he has sex, the more he will want it. Doing this will increase your libido, which means that you will want to have sex more often with him, too. This occurs, because sex increases the blood flow and vaginal lubrication, which makes sex feel even better for you this time than it did the last time.

You should not be focused only on the benefits of sex for you, but for your partner as well. Sex reduces the risk of Prostate cancer. You might not have to worry about prostate cancer, but your partner does. If you want him to live a long, happy life then having sex with him can help make it happen.

Sex helps burns calories. Not only will your muscles become toned, but you could lose some weight. Losing 100 calories every half-hour or so doesn’t seem like much, but if you have sex multiple times a week, all of those calories will add up.

It is so unfortunate that some reasons why sex is not enjoyed in the family is based on hygiene and poor dressing from both sides even though its leaning more towards women. Example is body odour. It is so sad that a woman cannot tell the spouse about this because she feels it will offend him/her, whereas its offensive to him/her and it may not allow him/her to have erection/libido.

And again the way women dress at home, tying wrapper up and down or a man in funny looking attires kills the desire. Neglecting an appearance plays a negative role on sexual feeling. How can a woman leave the house in the morning without using roll on/perfume? Or want to sleep at night and won’t bath nor freshen up?  These are the little things that will make the men to go out and have affairs.

When sex is discussed, it will allow the couple to know if there is a problem where they need to seek help. For example, if the woman is always having pain during sex it might require seeing a doctor to establish the underlying cause/s. The man also may have erectile dysfunction (ED). There are some medical reasons why sex is not enjoyed and in this case the couple will have to see a therapist.

If you do not have enough sex in your marriage but both the partners love each other and are intimate with each other, the marriage lasts longer. But if you have enough sex but little intimacy or very little love and respect, your marriage may not withstand the test of time.

Some people just don’t have desire to have sex. It is important to understand this in a relationship. The question to ask is whether it is a medical issue or a relationship issue.

In cases where there are medical issues like infertility or diabetes, the couple will need to see a therapist to discuss how they can enjoy sex. Talking to a therapist is still a new thing in our society and this is the way to go. Sex is to be enjoyed not endured. Talk to a therapist today.

But there is more to life than sex. It is established that sex in indeed a very important part of one’s marriage. But yes, there is much more to life and a relationship than just sex. Marriage is about closeness, commitment and caring. Sex is important but not the most important or the only important thing.

But if both the partners value sex and need it more than anything else then yes, it becomes very important in the marriage.

Thus, importance of sex depends on the individual requirements of both the partners in the marriage. For some, sex forms the basis of the relationship while for some it is simply like any other factor. There are couples who are happily married even when being in a sex-less marriage. Especially the couples who are in their mid fifties and those who are busy following their hearts such as busy with their ambitious projects or embarking on a spiritual journey.

In final words, sex is the vital component in a functioning relationship, but it doesn’t have to be incredibly frequent. A couple just needs to know they have those moments of intimacy which only they share, and which binds them together.

#BAAD 2017: See Photos Of Banky W ’s ‘Yoruba Demon ’ Crew At The Introduction Party [ Photos ]

Banky W and Adesua Etomi ’s introduction is holding today , and his ‘yoruba demon ’ crew have already turned up for the singer ’s event, whose engagement announcement broke the internet few days back .
His best friend , Captain Tunde and Big Brother Naija 2017 host Ebuka Uchendu, are part of his crew.
More photos after the cut ;

BBNaija winner Efe crowned prince of Okpe Kingdom

- Efe Ejeba honoured by the Orodje of Okpe Kingdom, Major Gen Felix Mujakperuo

- The reception was attended by traditional chiefs and politicians in Delta state

- Mujakperuo says Efe was honoured because he had shown the world that youths from the Niger Delta region are not only known for violent and criminal activities

Winner of the 2017 Big Brother Naija television show otherwise called #BBNaija, Efe Ejeba, has been honoured as prince of Okpe kingdom, Delta, for winning the reality show.

The honour was bestowed on Efe on Thursday, May 4, by the Orodje of Okpe Kingdom, Major Gen. Felix Mujakperuo

Daily Independent reports that Prince Efe who arrived Orerokpe from Benin in a long motorcade, was received by the Orodje of Okpe Kingdom and six other traditional rulers including the Ovie of Ughelli at his palace in Orerokpe , headquarters of Okpe Council area of Delta state.

Other traditional chiefs and politicians attended the reception which was chaired by a former minister of information, Prof Sam Oyovbaire.

According to his Royal highness Mujakperuo, the Okpe traditional council decided to honour Efe because he had shown the world that youths from the Niger Delta region are not only known for violent and criminal activities.

Pastor Adeboye congratulates Anthony Joshua

- Pastor Adeboye says Anthony Joshua has helped him remind the world that pounded yam is better than rice and Eba is better than Indomie

- He says that Joshua victory is as a result of hard work

- Joshua had credited Nigerian dishes for his recent successes in the boxing ring

Pastor Enoch Adejare Adeboye, the general overseer of the Redeemed Christian Church of God Worldwide, has congratulated the new boxing heavyweight champion Anthony Joshua.

He did this during a light hearted session of the Holy Communion service of the May 2017 Holy Ghost Service tagged "ABBA Father part 4".

According to him "that's why I congratulate that boy Joshua. Not only because he is a Nigerian, or because I myself used to be a boxer, but he has helped me to remind the world that pounded yam is better than rice and Eba is better than indomie and spag."

Nigeria: Boko Haram releases dozens of kidnapped Chibok schoolgirls

Boko Haram militants have released dozens of schoolgirls out of a group of more than 200 kidnapped from the north-eastern town of Chibok in April 2014, officials in Nigeria have said.

A government minister, asking not to be named, said 82 girls had been released. Unconfirmed reports on social media put the number of freed girls at between 50 and 62.

“The girls were released through negotiations with the government,” one official said, adding that an official statement would follow shortly.

A military source said the girls were currently in Banki near the Cameroon border for medical checks before being airlifted to Maiduguri, the capital of Borno state.

The kidnapping was one of the high-profile incidents of Boko Haram’s insurgency, now in its eighth year and with little sign of ending. About 220 were abducted from their school in a night-time attack.

More than 20 girls were released last October in a deal brokered by the International Committee of the Red Cross. Others have escaped or been rescued, but 195 were believed to be still in captivity prior to this release.

Nigeria’s president, Muhammadu Buhari, said last month the government was in talks to secure the release of the remaining captives.

Although the Chibok girls are the most high-profile case, Boko Haram has kidnapped thousands of adults and children, many of whose cases have been neglected.

The militants have killed more than 20,000 people and displaced more than 2 million during their insurgency aimed at creating an Islamic caliphate in north-east Nigeria.

Although the army has retaken much of the territory initially lost to Boko Haram, large parts of the north-east, particularly in Borno state, remain under threat from the militants. Suicide bombings and gun attacks have increased in the region since the end of the rainy season late last year.

Jaden Smith Dresses Like An Igbo Man To The MET Gala 2017 And It Has Got Everyone Talking

A photo of American artiste, Jaden Smith decked in a full Igbo regalia at the MET Gala 2017 went viral online yesterday.

Unknown to many, It was cleverly photo-shopped by an anonymous Nigerian.

Jaden Smith is the 18-year-old son of son of Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith.

T.B. Joshua Relocates to Israel

Acts 5:38-39 – “And now I say unto you, refrain from these men, and let them alone: for if this counsel or this work be of men, it will come to nought. But if it be of God, he cannot overthrow it; lest haply yet be found even to fight against God.”

Today’s piece is a departure from my usual articles. The above quote taken from the Holy Book is a clear indication of where I am going, moving away from my usual secular writings. I have decided to write in this vein in view of the surprising announcement by the General Overseer of The Synagogue Church Of All Nations (SCOAN), Prophet Temitope Balogun Joshua, to his congregation last Sunday that he would relocate his ministry from his country of birth to Israel, the home of Christianity. He said he had held meetings with three prominent Israeli mayors of Jerusalem, Tiberias and the Jordan valley and he had been offered land in an area around the biblical site of the Sea of Galilee to organise meetings for international pilgrims.

And why is Prophet Joshua contemplating moving from his most familiar environment? One of the reasons he gave was persecution. “This is the most persecuted ministry in the world. Who are the people persecuting the ministry? My people, Africa,” he said.

Indeed, he is not too far wrong on the persecution. It is as old as his ministry but in all these, he has come out stronger. There have been institutional persecutions and persecution from people who were supposed to have the same calling – religious leaders. I recall that as far back as 1995, the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA) stormed his fledgling ministry then, and invited him to their headquarters. Pray, what has a man professing Christ whose fame was on the ascendancy got to do with drugs? Of course, nothing incriminating was found in the ministry. Years later, the NDLEA visit was found to be not unconnected with the conspiracy to do him in over his growing popularity which was making some ‘Ministers of God’ and ‘General Overseers’ uncomfortable. Also years later, the chairman of the same NDLEA became a convert to T.B. Joshua’s ministry and never missed a service or the weekly teachings in The Synagogue.

We all know how and where the ministry started – in an unmapped, uncharted area of Ikotun-Egbe, Alimosho local government area of Lagos State. ‘Old site’ as the place is called is a tourist attraction today. Apart from the spiritual element where most who come for religious tourism can commune and be at peace with their Maker. It is also a tourism wonder with mechanized facilities. You can even take a boat cruise in the areas as the waters of that areas have been dredged. The foreigners who come for religious experience hardly ever want to leave the country without a visit to that wonder in the swamp of Egbe.

It was from there that a new worship center opened on Irefin Street, off Ikotun Road. It was another humble beginning. The church was without covering on its sides. The only protection then from the elements was the corrugated iron sheet on the roof. The floor was simply that – the floor. The chairs were long wooden benches. Bu the ministry kept growing, due to the spirituality displayed by Prophet Joshua. The crowd kept coming. They all came for the same thing – healing from their infirmities. They were not disappointed.

The G.O. was unassuming and could be seen in those days washing and cleaning the gutters and generally keeping the surroundings of the church clean. The Synagogue was a home for everybody, both the high and low in the society. He is a man attuned to giving. Despite the difficulty of building a ministry, supplicants who came for one thing or the other never went back without something in their pocket. That has continued till today. He does not need to know you. Widows and orphans have always enjoyed is generous nature. Apart from money, food items have been given out. His philanthropy didn’t end there; houses have been given out, people have been set up in business. He donated items worth millions to Haiti during its earthquake disaster. He has intervened similarly in other parts of the world. To my knowledge, he is the first Nigerian religious leader to have intervened in a disaster zone at such a high level. I may be wrong, though. But that’s just by the way.

Persecution was there. Other men of God did not see him as one of them. They demonized him. The said it was magic that he was weaving. That he had strange powers and the power would not last. He was ostracized, not being a member of the Pentecostal Fellowship of Nigeria (PFN) nor that of the Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN).

That is what brought about the quote above. For over 20 years, save for the blot occasioned by the collapse of one of the church buildings, SCOAN has grown from strength to strength. It has international recognition. The United Nations had once written to the GO to commend him. The President of the United States had written to acknowledge him. He is as popular in Korea as he is in Nigeria. South Africa like a second home, as is most parts of Africa. World leaders have visited Nigeria to see T.B. Joshua for healing. If the ministry is not of God, shouldn’t it have folded up?

But in Nigeria, the biblical quote also comes to mind – a prophet is never popular at home. In one particular year, the acrimony was such that he and another Man of God were invited to the police headquarters to ensure that peace reigned. Foreigners kept trooping into the country, looking for healing and balms for their spiritual yearnings.

Now, he seems tired of the entire persecution. He wants to leave to a place where he feels he would be received with open arms. But he should not be allowed to leave. His ministry has helped to further project the image of the country positively. The local economy has gained tremendously with his presence in the country. If he is allowed to leave, he would be followed to wherever he is by those desirous of his services. That is income loss for the country. Hotels and others who make brisk businesses would be in loss. Jobs would be lost as businesses would no longer boom. In all these, those that would be majorly affected would be the hordes of Nigerians who daily besiege the church for one help or the other, either for cure for their infirmities or in their request for succor. They would be left like sheep without shepherds.

Whatever it takes, the Federal Government should ensure that he does not leave the country. It is thus heartening when Minister of Information and Culture, Alhaji Lai Mohammed, who incidentally has the tourism agency under his portfolio, said Prophet Joshua should reconsider his decision, adding that he should dialogue with the appropriate authorities on whatever challenges he is facing.

“That will be very unfortunate in the sense that if he does move out, it will affect tourism in Nigeria. Pastor Joshua is an important person; he must bear with us. This is his country. If he moves out and goes to South Africa, for example, the revenue will go to South Africa. It is better that Pastor Joshua sits down with the relevant authority and resolve whatever problem he has”.

The minister has said it all and he should be rightly concerned. But he should not leave it a that; he should find a way to dialogue with the GO on steps to take to ensure he does not relocate. More so, it is his ministry that stands to lose in the event of Prophet Joshua’s relocation. The earlier this is done, the better for the country and all concerned